On the Nature of True Love: Inspired by The Fault in Our Stars

A bit spoilery. Maybe read TFIOS before reading this.

I recently reread The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. It is one of the most popular YA novels in recent years and is destined to become a classic. It is funny and heartbreaking and it is one of my favorite books of all time. But there is one part in the book that bothers me. It is when Isaac has just been dumped by his girlfriend and is talking to Hazel about true love:

' "I kept saying 'always' to her today, 'always always always,' and she just kept talking over me and not saying it back. It was like I was already gone, you know? 'Always' was a promise! How can you just break the promise?"

     "Sometimes people don't understand the promise they're making when they make them," I said.

     Isaac shot me a look. "Right, of course. But you keep the promise anyway. That's what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyway. Don't you believe in true love?"

     I didn't answer. I didn't have an answer. But I thought that if true love did exist, that was a pretty good definition of it. ' p. 60-61

'Love is keeping the promise anyway.'

When I read this part, I always think to myself, 'Um, no. No. Not even close.'

I can understand that some young people might think that this is a good definition of true love but when you think about it, it's actually a pretty poor one. 

Isaac's definition of true love isn't really about love at all. Isaac only says this because he wants his ex-girlfriend to have kept her promise to him. He feels that she owes it to him. I believe that true, unconditional love isn't about wanting anything from the other person. It isn't about holding them hostage because they made promises that they are unable to keep. Love is about accepting someone for who they are; it's about letting them go if they decide to walk away. Real love is nonjudgmental and contains no selfish wanting and no expectations. 

It is very clear that neither Isaac nor Monica know what true love is. Hazel's relationship with Augustus is closer to what true love really is. She's there for him until the very end, no matter how sick he gets. I suppose that's the point of the book. Isaac tries to define what true love is with words, while Hazel and Gus actually demonstrate it. 

So here's my definition of true love: 'Love is loving the person no matter what, even when they break their promise to you.'

So what do you think, my fellow bookworms? Do you agree with Isaac's definition? With mine? Totally disagree with both and have your own definition of true love? Let me know in the comments! 

Reading Wishlist: September 2014

September 2

#1) The Bone Clocks by David Mitchell

Genre: Science Fiction
What It's About: Lives intertwine in unexpected ways in this surreal tale from the author of Cloud Atlas.
Anticipation Factor: 5/10. I've never read anything by David Mitchell before but I've heard his books are amazing. 

#2) Lady Parts by Andrea Martin

Genre: Memoir
What It's About: One of Canada's funniest comedians opens up about her career on stage and on screen.
Anticipation Factor: 3/10. I love Andrea Martin but I wouldn't say I'm a die-hard fan.

#3) Heir of Fire (Throne of Glass #3) by Sarah J. Mass

Genre: Young Adult Fantasy
What It's About: The third installment in the Throne of Glass series, which is a Game of Thrones-like series for teens.
Anticipation Factor: 7/10. I just bought the first book in the series but haven't had a chance to read it yet. 

#4) The Jewel (The Lone City #1) by Amy Ewing

Genre: Young Adult Fantasy
What It's About: Violet is a slave to the wealthy people that inhabit The Jewel. A forbidden romance blooms between her and another servant.
Anticipation Factor: 5/10. 

#5) Trial by Fire (The Worldwalker Trilogy #1) by Josephine Angelini

Genre: Young Adult Fantasy
What It's About: Lily Proctor is transported to an alternate universe where she is a powerful witch named Lillian.
Anticipation Factor: 4/10.

#6) Anatomy of a Misfit by Andrea Portes

Genre: Young Adult Contemporary
What It's About: Anika Dragomir is the third most popular girl in school. But her precious social status is threatened when she falls for the misfit loner, Logan McDonough
Anticipation Factor: 6/10. 

#7) The Dolls (Dolls #1) by Kiki Sullivan

Genre: Young Adult Paranormal
What It's About: Eveny Cheval joins a group of rich, sexy teenagers known as The Dolls. But all is not as it seems...and being associated with the Dolls could prove to be very dangerous.
Anticipation Factor: 2/10. Honestly, I just put it on my list because of that gorgeous cover.

#8) The Future for Curious People by Gregory Sherl

Genre: Contemporary Romance
What It's About: Evelyn and Gregory have never met - and yet thanks to envisionist Dr.Chin they know that they are in each other's futures.
Anticipation Factor: 5/10.

#9) Tomboy: A Graphic Memoir by Liz Prince

Genre: Graphic Memoir
What It's About: Liz Prince recounts her days growing up as a tomboy.
Anticipation Factor: 6/10. Prince's memoir is about defying gender stereotypes and embracing who you really are.

#10) 100 Sideways Miles by Andrew Smith

Genre: Young Adult Contemporary
What It's About: Two teenage boys go on a road trip before they head off to college.
Anticipation Factor: 4/10. Not too often am I into road trip novels but I just love that cover and I've heard good things about this book.

#11) Maplecroft (The Borden Dispatches #1) by Cherie Priest

Genre: Horror
What It's About: Told from the perspective of the infamous Lizzie Borden who uses her ax to fight malevolent spirits.
Anticipation Factor: 7/10. So excited to read this book. 

#12) The Paper Magician (The Paper Magician Trilogy #1) by Charlie N. Holmberg

Genre: Young Adult Fantasy
What It's About: Ceony Twill is destined to become a Paper Magician and train under the mysterious Thane. But when an evil magician attacks her teacher, Ceony must use all of her powers to save him.
Anticipation Factor: 9/10. This books sounds amazing! I love books about magic!

September 9

#13) The Children Act by Ian McEwan

Genre: Literary Fiction
What It's About: Fiona Maye is a High Court judge dealing with a crumbling marriage and a difficult case that puts a child's life at risk.
Anticipation Factor: 7/10. Anything written by the acclaimed author of Atonement is bound to be a bestseller.

#14) Angry Optimist: The Life and Times of Jon Stewart by Lisa Rogak

Genre: Biography
What It's About: A biography of the brilliant Jon Stewart, host of The Daily Show.
Anticipation Factor: 8/10. I've been watching The Daily Show for years and am a huge fan of Jon Stewart. This book is very timely considering Stewart just made his directorial debut with the film Rosewater.

#15) Live From New York: An Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live by Tom Shales and James Andrew Miller

Genre: Non Fiction
What It's About: A history of SNL.
Anticipation Factor: 4/10. I'm not a big fan of SNL but I am always fascinated by behind-the-scenes books.

#16) Falling into Place by Amy Zhang

Genre: Young Adult Contemporary
What It's About: Liz Emerson decides to give up and commit suicide by driving into a tree...but life isn't ready to give up on her just yet.
Anticipation Factor: 6/10. This sounds like one of those books that can change your entire perspective on life.

#17) Illusions of Fate by Kiersten White

Genre: Young Adult Fantasy
What It's About: A romantic first installment in a series that is being billed as Downton Abbey meets Cassandra Clare.
Anticipation Factor: 5/10.

#18) The Iron Trial (Magisterium #1) by Holly Black and Cassandra Clare

Genre: Young Adult Fantasy
What It's About: Two acclaimed Young Adult authors team up to tell the story of students attending the Magisterium - a school for the magically inclined. Sound familiar, anyone?
Anticipation Factor: Any book that features young people going to a school for magical people will inevitably be compared to Harry Potter - but with two strong authors at the helm, this series promises to be more than a Hogwarts rip-off.

#19) City of Stairs by Robert Jackson Bennett

Genre: Fantasy
What It's About: The city of Bulikov was once ruled by powerful Gods - until one day they all were mysteriously killed. One woman goes to the city to try to find out what really murdered the Gods - and finds out they may not be as dead as people once thought.
Anticipation Factor: 8/10. This book sounds amazing.

#20) Kiss of Broken Glass by Madeleine Kuderick

Genre: Young Adult Contemporary
What It's About: A novel told in verse about a damaged young woman who is in danger of losing everything because of her addiction to cutting.
Anticipation Factor: 7/10. Dark subject matter, yes, but that just means I think this book will be an important read.

#21) Of Monsters and Madness by Jessica Verday

Genre: Young Adult Horror
What It's About: A book about the romance between Edgar Allan Poe and Annabel Lee.
Anticipation Factor: 7/10. I love Poe's poem, Annabel Lee.

#22) Evil Librarian by Michelle Knudsen

Genre: Young Adult Paranormal
What It's About: Cyn must save her best friend - and her entire school - from an evil (and hot) librarian.
Anticipation Factor: 7/10. I love this book's title and it sounds like it will be a fun read.

#23) Monstrous Affections: An Anthology of Beastly Tales by Kelly Link and Gavin J. Grant

Genre: Young Adult Short Stories/Fantasy
What It's About: Fifteen young adult authors contribute creepy tales to this collection.
Anticipation Factor: 6/10. I love books like this.

#24) Neverhome by Laird Hunt

Genre: Historical Fiction
What It's About: A wife disguises herself as a man to fight alongside her husband during the Civil War.
Anticipation Factor: 7/10. Another book came out a few months back with a very similar premise (I Shall Be Near to You by Erin Lindsay McCabe). I don't think that's a bad thing - we need more books telling women's war stories - both fiction and non fiction.

#25) Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel

Genre: Science Fiction/Dystopian
What It's About: A Shakespearean actor tries to live in a post-apocalyptic world.
Anticipation Factor: 9/10. This novel sounds like one of those books that I am destined to fall in love with.

#26) Lovely, Dark, Deep by Joyce Carol Oates

Genre: Short Stories
What It's About: Joyce Carol Oates explores the darkness in ordinary lives.
Anticipation Factor: 5/10. 

#27) Perfidia (Second L.A. Quartet #1) by James Ellroy

Genre: Crime Fiction
What It's About: After the bombing of Pearl Harbor, a Japanese family is found dead in L.A. Was it murder or ritual suicide?
Anticipation Factor: 8/10. James Ellroy is one of the best crime authors writing today. I also love the time period this book is set in.

#28) Lord Savage (Savage Trilogy #1) by Mia Gabriel

Genre: Historical Romance
What It's About: Evelyn Hard leaves New York for London and meets the handsome and mysterious Earl of Savage - a man who lives up to his name.
Anticipation Factor: 6/10. I love historical romance novels and this one seems like it will have a bit of an edge.

#29) The Falcon Throne (The Tarnished Crown Quintet #1) by Karen Miller

Genre: Fantasy
What It's About: An epic new fantasy series about a kingdom torn apart by two warring brothers.
Anticipation Factor: 8/10. I am always on the lookout for new epic fantasy series to add to my collection and this one is getting some great reviews.

#30) Egg and Spoon by Gregory Maguire

Genre: Young Adult Fantasy
What It's About: A new novel from the master of fairy tale retellings - this one is inspired by the Russian fairy tale, Baba Yaga.
Anticipation Factor: 6/10.

September 16

#31) The Paying Guests by Sarah Waters

Genre: Historical Fiction
What It's About: An impoverished widow is forced to take in lodgers after the devastating effects of World War I.
Anticipation Factor: 5/10.

#32) The Infinite Sea (The Fifth Wave #2) by Rick Yancey

Genre: Young Adult Science Fiction
What It's About: The much anticipated follow-up to The Fifth Wave - a sci fi series about an alien invasion.
Anticipation Factor: 8/10. This is yet another series I have not had a chance to read yet but I've heard amazing things.

#33) I'll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson

Genre: Young Adult Contemporary
What It's About: A novel told by the perspective of two twins, Jude and Noah, who tell the story of their falling out.
Anticipation Factor: 7/10. Sure to be a tear-jerker, this one is being compared to the works of John Green and Rainbow Rowell.

#34) Falls the Shadow  by Stefanie Gaither

Genre: Young Adult Science Fiction
What It's About: In a world where human cloning is possible, Cate's parents replace her dead sister, Violet, with a clone.
Anticipation Factor: 5/10.

#35) The Perilous Sea (The Elemental Trilogy #2) by Sherry Thomas

Genre: Young Adult Fantasy
What It's About: Continues the story of Iolanthe and Titus and their mission to defeat the mage tyrant, Bane.
Anticipation Factor: 8/10. Haven't read the first book in the series yet (of course) but I cannot wait to read these.I love the covers!

#36) Wolf in White Van by John Darnielle

Genre: Young Adult Science Fiction
What It's About: Sean Phillips is the creator of the role-playing game, 'Trace Italian' - but when two players bring the game into real life, disaster strikes.
Anticipation Factor: 4/10.

#37) Broken Monsters by Lauren Beukes

Genre: Horror
What It's About: In Detroit, a detective must deal with strange human/animal corpses that appear throughout the city.
Anticipation Factor: 8/10. I'm excited to read this book AND The Shining Girls which I've heard is spectacular.

September 23

#38) The Indifference League by Richard Scarsbrook

Genre: Fiction
What It's About: The Indifference League is made up of archetypes of Generation X and Y - SuperBarbie, Hippie Avenger, and The Nice Guy are a few examples - and one weekend they meet up to find out once and for all if the world still needs superheroes.
Anticipation Factor: 6/10. I love books about superheroes.

#39) Rooms by Lauren Oliver

Genre: Fantasy
What It's About: A family inherits their father's country house - and the two ghosts who live there.
Anticipation Factor: 6/10. This is the eagerly awaited debut adult novel from the author of popular YA novels Before I Fall and Delirium.

#40) Juliet's Nurse by Lois Leveen

Genre: Historical Fiction/Retelling
What It's About: The timeless tale of Romeo and Juliet is retold from the perspective of Juliet's nurse.
Anticipation Factor: 7/10. I love Shakespeare and always enjoy reading new interpretations of his plays.

#41) Afterworlds by Scott Westerfeld

Genre: Young Adult Fantasy
What It's About: This novel tells the story of Darcy Patel, an aspiring novelist - and, at the same time, tells Darcy's fantasy novel.
Anticipation Factor: 4/10. This is one of those books that could either work really well - or fall flat. We'll just have to wait and see.

#42) Messenger of Fear (Messenger of Fear #1) by Michael Grant

Genre: Young Adult Fantasy
What It's About: The Messenger sees the wickedness in young people's hearts and makes them play a game to determine if they will go free.
Anticipation Factor: 6/10. 

#43) Poisoned Apples: Poems for You, My Pretty by Christine Heppermann

Genre: Poetry
What It's About: A collection of poems that puts a unique spin on beloved fairy tales.
Anticipation Factor: 7/10. I love poetry and I love fairy tales. I'm sure I'll love this book that combines the two.

#44) Salt & Storm by Kendell Kulper

Genre: Young Adult Fantasy
What It's About: A historical romance about a witch who foresees her own murder - and the one boy who can help change her future.
Anticipation Factor: 7/10. 

#45) Lark Rising (Guardians of Tarnec #1) by Sandra Waugh

Genre: Young Adult Fantasy
What It's About: Lark has foreseen two things - she will fall for a young man with sage green eyes, and he will kill her.
Anticipation Factor: 5/10. There seems to be a theme this month where magical teenage girls predict their own murders.

#46) Firebug (Firebug #1) by Lish McBride

Genre: Young Adult Fantasy
What It's About: Ava can start fires with her mind - but is it a blessing or is it a curse?
Anticipation Factor: 6/10.

September 30

#47) The Rosie Effect (Don Tillman #2) by Graeme Simsion

Genre: Contemporary Romance
What It's About: Don Tillman and Rosie Jarman are back in this follow-up to the bestselling The Rosie Project.
Anticipation Factor: 8/10. I've heard so many good things about The Rosie Project - I can't wait to read the first book and the new sequel.

#48) A Sudden Light by Garth Stein

Genre: Young Adult Fantasy
What It's About: Trevor is taken to his family estate, The Riddell House, and discovers the ghost that lives within.
Anticipation Factor: 6/10.

#49) Belzhar by Meg Wolitzer

Genre: Young Adult Contemporary
What It's About: A YA novel inspired by Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar.
Anticipation Factor: 8/10. This is one of the most buzzed about YA books coming out this month.

#50) Beauty of the Broken by Tawni Waters

Genre: Young Adult Contemporary
What It's About: When fifteen-year-old Mara falls for her classmate, Xylia, their forbidden love threatens to tear Mara's conservative family apart.
Anticipation Factor: 7/10. I love that there are so many YA books with LGBT themes coming out this year.

#51) The Only Thing to Fear by Caroline Tung Richmond

Genre: Young Adult Dystopian Fiction
What It's About: Imagines what the modern world would be like if Hitler had won World War II.
Anticipation Factor: 8/10. The premise isn't exactly new but I've never seen a novel like this geared towards young adults.